just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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