There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
