Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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