Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
