hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
