Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
