i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
