so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
