she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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