so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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