I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
