Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
