I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
