You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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