I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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