if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My dick has a subreddit
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
