I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
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