Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
