Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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