I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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