is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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