i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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