His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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