Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
