I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
