i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
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I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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