You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
