didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
