I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
