Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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