She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize