Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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