I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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