i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
