when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
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My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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