Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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