Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
should my penis look like a turkey
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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