I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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