My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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