a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
