you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Randomize
