I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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