can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Randomize
