That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
