I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
