So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
