Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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