This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
