Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this boner is exhausting
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
