So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize