Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
