Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
