making cat noises will not fix the situation.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize