I don't think brook has ever known best
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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