Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
