dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
this just has baby written all over it
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
