i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
