It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
