I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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