I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fuck appropriateness.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
