What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Let's get the cat blown out
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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