8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it was like his penis was on wheels.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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