so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
