I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
vagina is talking i cant
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
