If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
