You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
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He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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