that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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