yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
